it's friday night. and i am at home. why? :)
i skip meetings.
thought going for badminton will refresh my mind.
infact, i am all worn out after it.
hungry, tired, disappointed. can you feeel the negative energy?
i guess it's because of the hunger.haha.
i know, i know the way to be strong again.
but i refuse to.
have i been mean to people? have i been too strict with them?
have i been not treating them well?
perhaps, i am too obsessed with work.
perhaps, i am on tight hands.
everyday, without fail, i go work, back home, take care babies, then go meeting, then arrange some paper work or peace proposal documents or prep meet materials. then sleep around 1 sth.
today, i hv decided to go for badminton with colleague and boss instead.
and the effect --> constant breakdown.
1st, i got so touched by chee hoo's volunteering to fetch us to kaikan, with the request of vincent, knowing the problem behind it. and my tears almost blurted out over the phone.i could have just take ktm. youth no?
and this leads to the following breakdown,
choy yee calling me and asking me about the preparation for next wed meeting.
i dono what to answer, or shall i say, i lose passion.
and she hear me, yes, she started asking how stressful am i...
and i cant hold it no more..
this IS embarrassing. haha.
second, thanks for kewei's call to have a talk with me.
tho it makes me even more angry -_- LOL!!!
i cant cry. if i fall, the others will too.
if i be negative, the others will too.
because we DO have a bond.
for the past, i may hav been disappointed and all, which discourage me to take action.
but no, whatever people is doing, we cant be discourage. we shall be the one who encourage ppl.
i came to realize this, because, i feel so alone in this group. i feel like i m not caring enough for my members, for everyone.
i shall start caring, and not blame on time. everyone's busy.
and it's always possible to make time. so, i shall make time for my members.
first time, i hav to breakdown so many times in a day.
my current schedule:
1) peace proposal forum
2) run for peace exhi
3) weekly meetings on wed
4) prep meets
5) work
6) cant think of one now.
comrades, are you ready?
let's look forward.
